- you know i love kids.everybody knows i love kids. you know what i loveeven more than kids uh, is famous people. and, uh, recentlyi had my friend mark wahlberg sit down with some kidsto talk to them about the birds and the bees. 'cause i thought,"what could go wrong?" and it turns outseveral things. [laughter]
enjoy. [upbeat music] - hello.all: hi. - don't eyeball me, boy. so, listen,do you know that i'm an academy awardnominated actor? my name is mark wahlberg. if you want to call me anything,you call me mr. wahlberg or sir. okay?you call me the general.
all right? all right, do you know whywe're here today? - why? - we're gonna talk aboutthe birds and the bees. - do you know whatthe birds and the bees are? - yes, boyfriendsand girlfriends. - close, look... do you guys haveany brothers and sisters? all: yes.- all right.
- i got one big brotherand one big sister. - i didn't ask you that yet,liam. i'm gonna have to tell youonly speak when spoken to. can you follow instructions?- yes. general.- there you go. okay, so i have five brothers. you know, you guysever heard of my brother donnie? - donnie, yeah,he's on "blue bloods." - he is on "blue bloods."have you ever seen it?
- yeah.- oh, i haven't, but i heardit's very good. i have four kidsof my own, and that takesa lot of time and attention and a lot of money. all right, who knowswhere babies come from? - your mom's belly. - how did the babyget in there? - uhh?
- all right, i'm gonnaexplain it to you, okay? if francis and patwanted to have a baby, and francis said,"okay, i got this baguette, and i'm gonna put itin pat's corn chowder." and then they're gonnahave a baby. - hmm.- that sounds awkward. - what's another wordfor making a baby? - pregnant? - no, that's what happenswhen do you the act
of making a baby. have you everheard of whoopee? - what?- no. - doing the nasty?- no. - get your freak on?- no. - what's my name?- general. - you better bein my crew now, okay. jonathan, you wantto be in my crew? - yes.- what's my name?
- general.- all right. what do you want to doif you're in my crew? - mmm. - liam, you wantto count the money? - mm-hmm.- all right. jonathan, you wantto stack the paper? - yes. - have any of you guysever done time? - hmm?- like time in math?
- if two peoplelove each other in prison, that's calleda conjugal visit. can anybody say that?all: conjugal visit. - so what happenswhen people decide that they wantto make a baby? you wantto draw it for me? - hmm, i--- come on. take whatever coloryou want. - chelsea--ladies first, man.
put that back, man. see, you're already in my crew,so you're already doing all that gangster [bleep]. a man and a womanmaking a baby. what do they do?- draw it? - there's the booty. is that the ovaries? whoa, you really know a lot,jennifer. okay, are you guys ready?time's up, time's up.
time's up.liam? oh, that's nice. look he's got the flowers.he's presenting her flowers. let me see yours, chelsea.- i don't know. - she's like,"i'm gonna do this on my own. i don't need no baby daddy." oh, wow, the french guyhas got the two, uh, pizza makerschasing him down. all right, well,that's close.
and this is what?oh, the ring. they getting married, yes. i don't thinkwe need mine. - let's see.- don't worry about it. - forget about mine. all right, liam,let's roll. you got the front seat. jonathan,stack the paper, okay? - yes.- let's go get this money, boys.
let's roll, man.what are you doing? let's go.come on, man. get the doorfor the general. you guys know--know "optimus prime"? - yes.- what about "ted"? - oh, oh, i like "ted."- yes. [cheers and applause] - oh, mark,thank you so much. ugh, and i apologizeto those kids.
mark's movie"daddy's home" is in theaters everywherechristmas day. we'll be right back.